Time

I've decided that time is no more than a false illusion. There is no such real thing as time. Time doesn't fill any space, real or imaginary, becasue it has an amazing ability to morph to whatever it decides it wants to. Not only that, but at the exact same moment, time can be one illusion for one person, and a total other illusion for another person.

These last few months have been crazy when it comes to time. When I think about things that have happened as recently as last semester, I feel like they have been years ago. When I think about how short a time I have actually known people, it boggles my mind. There is no way that I met Mike only three months ago. That is absolutely impossible. Yet, when I think about school, time has been flying. I can't believe we are almost half way through the semester already.

Time is crazy. I don't believe in it any more. It has no real standard by which it goes, becasue everything just doesn't fit.

Optimistic

"Hey Boo!" The remains of what could have been amazing. Yet, I don't really feel all that disappointed. Sure, I'm a little sad, but a good cry, and for some reason I'm ok. I don't know what really is going on, but my optimism is shining through for me on this. I can't think anything negative for longer than a few minutes and a voice comes into my head saying things will work out the way they should, and I'm not scared. I don't get it, but I'm not complaining. I suppose I feel that things will work out in the end one way or another to make life work the best way possible. Maybe I feel that I have been dealt enough rotten hands to really think that I would desrve this to be another one. I think the balance of life is tipped in my favor and life will be great no mater what. 

I'd normally be thinking of ways thing could have gone differently, but I think that it might not have even been a possibility for things to be different. I feel like no matter how I tried to avoid certain things, they just kept coming back... and they were scary ideas, but somehow comforting at the same time. They were just unavoidable... I'm just happy, and I can't complain too much. I just hope that his choices will bring him happiness, too. It's so weird, and I'm a little confused as to why I am so okay. Maybe I just don't feel like things really have ended. Maybe I just have hope. Hope is good.