In my family recreation class, we are reading a book called "Leadership and Self Deception". It's an ok book, story-wise, but the message is life changing. Basically, there are two kinds of people-- those in the box, and those out of the box, or those who have self deception, and those who do not. Interesting thing that I have learned is the difference between how I have been feeling lately and how I have felt for the most partof my life is that I have recently become trapped in the box. Basically, this means that I take no responsibility for my own problems and find every excuse to blame others for how miserable some things are.
While this is easy and human nature, I can attest that it is not healthy and efinately doesn't make you feel any better. While blaming others may make you feel superior and like you aren't the one who needs to change, it is absolutely wrong.
So, now that I know I am in this box, how do I get out? Turns out that every way I have tried is the incorrect way. I've tried to communicate my problems out with those who I have them with and they get nowhere. Many times, I feel more hurt or offended than before. I've tried just copeing with how things are and that doesn't seem to work, either. That, if anything, puts me further into the box becasue it make me feel like I'm being the bigger person or taking the high road, when really I'm just squashing myself inside. I've tried leaving the situation on multiple counts both physically and mentally. Unfortunately, that just makes things sour. I've tried changing other's behavior-- not by force, but by request and that just makes me feel guilty. I've tried changing my own behavior, which usually results in crying and jealousy. These things just don't work... and I never knew until this book.
There is only one thing that does work and that's changeing my own perceptions and seeing people as people instead of objects whose needs don't matter. ITs a harsh reality for me, but I am selfish and this book has helped me see that most people are in one way or another, but I want to change it. I suppose realizing that I could be the problem is the first step in changeing. Hopefully soon I will be out of the box and my life will be back to the happiness it once was.
